Going to the beach with kids makes you realize a lot of things. I don’t understand how the idea of going to the beach makes people so excited. Starting with me. Let me be clear. I’m not thinking of a deserted beach in the Caribbean, with white sand and turquoise water, where palm trees lean over the sea defying gravity, etc. I’m talking about an overcrowded-grey-sand-turbid-waters type of beach, where the only thing that leans over the sea and defies the law of gravity is your flesh after three pregnancies. Every year I can’t wait to go there, and every year I can’t wait to LEAVE.
Of course, there are not the same beach-memories when you were a child: swimming, laughter, sandcastles, mats, running naked along the shore until sunset… Or when you were a teenager: escaping with friends, showing-off, hours and hours at the beach bar… Or when you had a boyfriend: kisses on the sand, kisses in the water, kisses at the beach bar, running naked along the shore until dawn…
Going to the beach with kids. Based on true stories.
No, once you go to the beach in “mother mode” everything you’ve idealized about the beach disappears. One of the things that makes me most uneasy is when they get in the water with their father and I stop seeing them.
“They’re not there”
“Oh wait, it was a wave.”
“They’re not there!”
“Oh wait, it was a wave.”
“They’re not there!!!”
“Calm down, Oliva, they’re just hidden behind the waves.”
“They’re not there!!”
“Oh wait, it’s just that that wave was bigger…”
If they’re on the shore, the situation is not easier… Even still, they do not stop. You can even feel the tension around your towel… And it always seems that I’m the only one who’s stressed out! Because my husband is always Mr. Chill
-Put the ball down, you’re gonna hit somebody!
-Don’t run, you’ll get sand on the people!
-Emma! -Don’t run, you’re taking off the sunscreen!
-The bucket, the bucket! -The waves are taking it away!
-Olivia just let them… – says your husband, as he opens up a beer.
If you think you’ve reached the top of your stress, you’re wrong! What about every time the lifeguard blows the whistle?!
“My kids!”
“Oh, wait, they’ re someone else’s.”
“My kid!!”
“Oh, wait, they’re someone else’s.”
“My kids!!!”
“Oh, wait, it’s just a lady who’s drowning…”
😱😱😱
-Maria, let that lady’s leg go! – Don’t you see she’s drowning?
In this story entitled “Going to the beach with kids”, the chapter on sunscreen deserves a special mention: “apply frequently after each bath, sweat or drying with a towel …” .. I have three children, I guess you could say that I spend 80% of my time putting on sunscreen. Or at least, trying to!
-Maria, come here, let me put you some sunscreen, you’re getting a sunburn.
-I don’t want to, I don’t want to!
But anyway, if you’re reading this and you have kids… you know exactly what going to the beach with kids implies! Just like backpacking with kids! Oops, I’ll say goodbye now. I have to make the reservation! I am so excited to go to the beach this year! Of course, this year we won’t leave the swimming pool. And that’s it.